Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Realizations

Tonight I was watching a favorite musical of mine and like a ton of bricks it hit me over the head that my life is never going to be the same.

I'm wasting my time and energy trying to keep things appearing normal because they are never going to be normal again. I will never have the life I imagined for myself. I can't get it back. No matter how hard I try this is never going to change and trying to change it is, at the very least futile, at the worst, stupid.

Trying to make life "pretty" isn't going to work...putting a new coat of paint on crap still leaves it as crap. Nights like this I just want to give up the fight and let PTSD and TBI win. I just want to give up.

1 comment:

This is the story of.... said...

No don't give up, even if your relationship reaches the end of the road, don't let it be because you gave up. If you have done everything to satisfy yourself there is nothing left but to call it a day, bring that chapter of your life to a close, then so be it. But do so with the knowledge you didn't just wave a white flag above the ramparts, but held your head high and made a rational informed decision.

I don't know you and I certainly don't know your situation so I could be talking out of my a**, and I don't want to upset you. I'm sending you a virtual <>.

Domenica